Breaking News: Airplanes are way too expensive, Wright brothers apologize

[Derelicte]

A spokesperson for the Wright brothers has issued a formal apology stating the brothers are "sorry for inventing the airplane" cause "it's just too expensive for anyone to own." A fervor has erupted on skiing website newschoolers.com after questions were raised as to how upstart ski entrepreneur David Lesh could possibly afford an airplane. Wright brothers spokesperson Bob Cheesedick has publicly stated that there is no possible way Mr. Lesh should be able to "own an airplane (from)...selling shitty ski jackets."

According to Forbes.com there are only 12 known people alive who have enough money to own an airplane. Mr. Cheesedick has stated that "only Jon Olsson has enough money for private air travel within the ski industry."

Reuters

 

[DGski]

Lol

 

[CheddarJack]

Ha

 

[90053]

[chuckle]

 

[Bagina]

.

 

[Mr.Bishop]

Dude - start writing onion-style news articles and posting them. This could be the start of something really epic.

https://www.newschoolers.com/newseditor

 

[Downtofilm]

 

[cydwhit]

Please, we need The Radical Radish, The Onion's little brother who is into extreme sports

 

[Mr.Bishop]

Ok please, please, please someone start this series of news articles. Make it a weekly thing.

 

[NinetyFour]

Oh god QFE.

This would be awesome, especially since it would have developed from some arguments about lesh and a trust fund.

 

[~bagelz~]

^^^

 

[edai]

 

[NoSkillsCrew]

Isn't BroBomb the tight pants wearing pbr guzzling version of this?

 

[Derelicte]

Haha, if only I had enough time + ideas

 

[Derelicte]

Haha, if only I had enough time + ideas

 

[cydwhit]

I'm down to give it a shot, but you have set a high bar my friend

 

[scarsimd]

planes are for posers, submarines is where its at.

 

[JWeinstock]

.