Gentlemen, I have a toast to the groom speech to give next Saturday for my little brothers wedding. I have a number of points down on paper already, and a fairly good idea on putting it all together, however it never hurts to get some more ideas before I finalize. Have any of you given a best man speech or witnessed a few that have really stood out? Ideas are welcome
Best man speech
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Anathema
Active member
i was at a wedding yesterday where my friend (the best man) had to do this and i had to read his speech over for him.
try not to make it too lolz. a joke in there once in a while, and a tasteful one that either children or adults can laugh along with, is fine, but don't get carried away.
and the one thing that disappointed me about his series of wedding speeches that came from parents, best man, maid of honor, and one other perosn, were they all had the same things to say about the bride and groom as people.
it's always, "the bride is beautiful, radiant, gorgeous, and the groom is very lucky to have her. the groom is kind, sweet, caring, and a total package that will do well to take care of her. the two are just so in love and we're all in awe of it."
try to dig a little deeper than that. "nice guy, pretty girl, congratulations and i wish you nothing but happiness and love forever and ever." it gets boring. i'm sure they'd like to hear what makes them unique and why they're a good match. maybe a story that solidified the relationship, or troubles they'd had and still worked through it together? something he or she did for someone that demonstrated their character and why you knew this was someone you'd be proud to see your brother with for the rest of his life?
these things are all about showing effort, and like a highschool project done the night before, everyone knows when you half-ass it. some things in life should be whole-assed, and wedding speeches are one of them.
try not to make it too lolz. a joke in there once in a while, and a tasteful one that either children or adults can laugh along with, is fine, but don't get carried away.
and the one thing that disappointed me about his series of wedding speeches that came from parents, best man, maid of honor, and one other perosn, were they all had the same things to say about the bride and groom as people.
it's always, "the bride is beautiful, radiant, gorgeous, and the groom is very lucky to have her. the groom is kind, sweet, caring, and a total package that will do well to take care of her. the two are just so in love and we're all in awe of it."
try to dig a little deeper than that. "nice guy, pretty girl, congratulations and i wish you nothing but happiness and love forever and ever." it gets boring. i'm sure they'd like to hear what makes them unique and why they're a good match. maybe a story that solidified the relationship, or troubles they'd had and still worked through it together? something he or she did for someone that demonstrated their character and why you knew this was someone you'd be proud to see your brother with for the rest of his life?
these things are all about showing effort, and like a highschool project done the night before, everyone knows when you half-ass it. some things in life should be whole-assed, and wedding speeches are one of them.
CaptainObvious.
Active member
Check it OP. I'm like Mr. Wedding Speech. Sapper as fuq.
"In about three months, a lot of you won't remember much about today. It might be because you got caught up with old friends and didn't float around as much as you wanted. It might be because there's an open bar. What is certain, though, is that you'll have at least one specific memory tied with today. With John and Jane. You'll have one instance that when asked, 'Hey, remember *John and Jane's* wedding?' you'll think of that. In the end, the only thing that really matters is the memories we make with each other.
For many many years to come, John and Jane will be asked about their wedding. Odds are that they won't remember a whole lot about today, but they'll remember - with specific detail - every little thing that lead up to this day. They'll remember choosing flowers, choosing the meals that you and I would enjoy. Remember the argument that stemmed from whether or not to allow the chicken dance during the reception. All of these little things discussed and all the time spent to guarantee that each and every one of you would have a great time making memories with them. My little brother is one of the most important people to me and I know how much it means to him that you're all here today.
I love you both very much, and I can't tell you how happy that we've made so many memories together and I can't wait to make more as the years go by.
So I would like you all to raise a glass, and promise me that you'll make a memory for him and his wife Jane tonight."
Cue the tears.
"In about three months, a lot of you won't remember much about today. It might be because you got caught up with old friends and didn't float around as much as you wanted. It might be because there's an open bar. What is certain, though, is that you'll have at least one specific memory tied with today. With John and Jane. You'll have one instance that when asked, 'Hey, remember *John and Jane's* wedding?' you'll think of that. In the end, the only thing that really matters is the memories we make with each other.
For many many years to come, John and Jane will be asked about their wedding. Odds are that they won't remember a whole lot about today, but they'll remember - with specific detail - every little thing that lead up to this day. They'll remember choosing flowers, choosing the meals that you and I would enjoy. Remember the argument that stemmed from whether or not to allow the chicken dance during the reception. All of these little things discussed and all the time spent to guarantee that each and every one of you would have a great time making memories with them. My little brother is one of the most important people to me and I know how much it means to him that you're all here today.
I love you both very much, and I can't tell you how happy that we've made so many memories together and I can't wait to make more as the years go by.
So I would like you all to raise a glass, and promise me that you'll make a memory for him and his wife Jane tonight."
Cue the tears.
Lé.Skiing
Active member
When I was the best man for my brothers wedding I Had to give a speech too. I completely winged it and it first started to bomb kinda worked out in the end though.
What I brought up was the points of how he used to pick on me when we were growing up. Made a few points like how when he kicked me down a hill while I was on a GT and because the hill had a ditch at the end I broke the handle and got knocked out. However looking back I would have written some stuff down on points I wanted to make. I got up there and never thought my mind would go blank at first.
It was a bigger than expected wedding with a lot of people staring. I probably made matters worse by opening up with "I didn't write anything down and I had planned on just winging it, but I didn't plan on my mind going blank as soon as I got up here." My uncle probably saved me by Yelling out "Tell us some bad stories about the groom!" as soon as he said that I was like "Bad stories?, I've got a bunch of bad stories for you all..." then continued my speech from there.
I would just suggest making it a perfect balance of funny and embarrassing for the groom then throw in some positive notes. If I could do it again I would have went the rout of first making some jokes then saying some good things to end on a good note. After that I would have just then congratulate them on their marriage while wishing them a happy life together.
What I brought up was the points of how he used to pick on me when we were growing up. Made a few points like how when he kicked me down a hill while I was on a GT and because the hill had a ditch at the end I broke the handle and got knocked out. However looking back I would have written some stuff down on points I wanted to make. I got up there and never thought my mind would go blank at first.
It was a bigger than expected wedding with a lot of people staring. I probably made matters worse by opening up with "I didn't write anything down and I had planned on just winging it, but I didn't plan on my mind going blank as soon as I got up here." My uncle probably saved me by Yelling out "Tell us some bad stories about the groom!" as soon as he said that I was like "Bad stories?, I've got a bunch of bad stories for you all..." then continued my speech from there.
I would just suggest making it a perfect balance of funny and embarrassing for the groom then throw in some positive notes. If I could do it again I would have went the rout of first making some jokes then saying some good things to end on a good note. After that I would have just then congratulate them on their marriage while wishing them a happy life together.
Barefootin_Fiend
Active member
i've given several best man speeches and I fucking kill it every time. (so I've been told) a few things to remember...
don't get too drunk before hand. you don't want to be a bumbling, slurring idiot.
a little humor doesn't hurt, but it's not a fucking roast. believe it or not, i've seen speeches with roast worthy humor that had left half the audience with their jaws on the floor. Not cool.
keep it short and sweet, but meaningful. no one wants to listen to you ramble on and on and on telling stories for 20 minutes. on the other hand, you don't want to get up there and spit 3 sentences either. find the happy medium. it'd doesn't need to be more than a minute or two long, realistically.
memorize the meat of it. keep a flash card for points. you don't want to get up there and read a fucking letter to them. you want to talk to them - not read to them. basic speech 101.
g'luck doood.
don't get too drunk before hand. you don't want to be a bumbling, slurring idiot.
a little humor doesn't hurt, but it's not a fucking roast. believe it or not, i've seen speeches with roast worthy humor that had left half the audience with their jaws on the floor. Not cool.
keep it short and sweet, but meaningful. no one wants to listen to you ramble on and on and on telling stories for 20 minutes. on the other hand, you don't want to get up there and spit 3 sentences either. find the happy medium. it'd doesn't need to be more than a minute or two long, realistically.
memorize the meat of it. keep a flash card for points. you don't want to get up there and read a fucking letter to them. you want to talk to them - not read to them. basic speech 101.
g'luck doood.
Sno.
Active member
13080490:Barefootin_Fiend said:
this-- also, don't make it too long. I went to a wedding where the best man just rambled on, and on, and on...and also, don't forget to welcome his wife into the family and say something nice about her-- it is, after all, a celebration of their union so you shouldn't leave her out entirely.
Drail
Active member
13080213:Anathema said:
Part of the reason why I am choosing to not even bothering with a wedding. I am currently 'engaged' to my partner and we are getting married sure, but fuck weddings. Cliche bullshit, too expensive, and being the centre of attention when over half the people giving speeches don't even know half of what is actually going on in the one on one part of a relationship between two people.
The funny thing is - my friends who are trying to convince me to go through with a full on wedding say shit like "she wants a wedding" when she was the one who proposed no proper wedding in the first place. "don't you want to see her all dolled up in a beautiful dress", like I never see her look beautiful ever, or the best one "do it for the money and gifts". Yeah, I'm good thanks.
I just hope my sister doesn't ever end up getting married and expect me to say a speech 'cause I might just pull a no show. ha! I'm such an asshole, pretty sure my family hates me.
O.G.Surachai
Member
13080497:Drail said:
You're 100% right about that sadly. Having been through it relatively recently, I can completely confirm that the wedding industry is a fat load of bullshit. That said, I wouldn't go back and not have a wedding. If nothing else, have a killer reception. Our ceremony was probably only 10 minutes long and was very personal to us but I doubt anyone else really got it.
We both decided to spend our money on feeding our guests very well and throwing a great party afterwards, and I feel like we did pretty well. I definitely recommend going all out on a party, but only invite people you want to be there.
On topic, it has pretty much been covered already but it is important that you remember that it is a toast, not a speech. Have your glass ready and keep it short (2-5 minutes.) Traditionally, it is also your job to thank the guests for coming and whoever is hosting it (ie footing the bill.) I think I still have one I gave a couple years ago saved somewhere that got rave reviews. If you are interested, just shoot me a pm and I'll send it to you.
Anathema
Active member
13080497:Drail said:
i feel like some people enjoy the idea of one moment capturing all that your relationship has been and all it's about to become. like a snapshot of that moment where remembering you, your boys, her in that dress with all her girls, your family, your friends, were unified in supporting what you want your relationship to be - a lifelong endeavor that you'll continue to progress through, together, as long as you both shall live.
to each their own in how elaborate you want it to be, but it's a once in a lifetime thing, so why not have some fun with it.
personally, i feel like that's a nice memory and a nice moment to have.
op, even a best man's speech could do the same. it's a moment where you and your brother can connect just a little more closely. i have a brother and i can't say i regularly spill my heart out to him and tell him i'm proud of him for these and those reasons and wish him luck in life and love, so this might be a good opportunity to do that, and in front of all your other friends and family. it could be a smooth move that leaves him with a little bit of a different appreciation for you than he had before..
Sno.
Active member
^yeah, I mean our wedding was about having a big party where we united two families and all of our friends from throughout our lives in one place. Our theme was woodstock-- so people dressed casually ( I wanted them to be comfortable), and the ceremony was super short and sweet (so the guests didn't have to suffer in the heat)-- There were so many special aspects of that day. For one thing, it will be the only time that all of my family and my husbands family, and all of my parents lifelong friends are able to gather in one place. Most of my family is from around the country and all of my parents friends are in Idaho or South Dakota. It was really special because of that. We made it a week-long experience for those coming in from out of town. I live in Seattle and we had people from as far as Hawaii, Alaska, and Boston. We rented a couple of waterfront houses and that week was a blast catching up with old friends and introducing the two families.
Some other things that made it special: we had our wedding locally at a great park-- so now that park has meaning for us and its special when we go back and visit it. The man who married us was one of my parents friends who also spoke at their wedding. He got ordained just to marry us at our wedding and flew in from South Dakota. I had my dad bring me into the ceremony on his boat, because I have a lot of great memories growing up with my dad on his boat and its unique to our relationship and our family. We had my dad's best man from his wedding perform the live music at the cocktail hour along with having a grand piano brought in and had my favorite local pianist accompany him (a piano player that plays at my favorite local restaurant where my husband and I have had many special dates)-- I also sang for my husband at the cocktail hour, and all of the toasts were really memorable. At the reception the groomsmen's shorts were actually khaki board shorts, so they all went swimming and did tricks off the high-dive at the park--something that really showed his personality. When the sun went down, we brought in a live band that my husband and I love, and I had a pool table brought in because its something I love to do and everyone knows that about me, so people got to "challenge the bride." Our wedding was also at a park where people were able to camp overnight, so it continued into the wee hours with bonfires and tents-- just another thing that speaks to our personality.
TLDR; I loved my wedding, there were a lot of things about it that made it special, and its a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would never take back.
Some other things that made it special: we had our wedding locally at a great park-- so now that park has meaning for us and its special when we go back and visit it. The man who married us was one of my parents friends who also spoke at their wedding. He got ordained just to marry us at our wedding and flew in from South Dakota. I had my dad bring me into the ceremony on his boat, because I have a lot of great memories growing up with my dad on his boat and its unique to our relationship and our family. We had my dad's best man from his wedding perform the live music at the cocktail hour along with having a grand piano brought in and had my favorite local pianist accompany him (a piano player that plays at my favorite local restaurant where my husband and I have had many special dates)-- I also sang for my husband at the cocktail hour, and all of the toasts were really memorable. At the reception the groomsmen's shorts were actually khaki board shorts, so they all went swimming and did tricks off the high-dive at the park--something that really showed his personality. When the sun went down, we brought in a live band that my husband and I love, and I had a pool table brought in because its something I love to do and everyone knows that about me, so people got to "challenge the bride." Our wedding was also at a park where people were able to camp overnight, so it continued into the wee hours with bonfires and tents-- just another thing that speaks to our personality.
TLDR; I loved my wedding, there were a lot of things about it that made it special, and its a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would never take back.
CaptainObvious.
Active member
If we're talking about weddings...
Be careful what you do around your wedding if you decide to have a big one.
I spent thousands of dollars on the biggest party I've ever thrown only to get food poisoning from a bad oyster at the beginning of my bachelor party. Didn't finish my second beer and redecorated the patio and bathroom of my hotel room
I missed everything but the vows. Literally everything.
Be careful what you do around your wedding if you decide to have a big one.
I spent thousands of dollars on the biggest party I've ever thrown only to get food poisoning from a bad oyster at the beginning of my bachelor party. Didn't finish my second beer and redecorated the patio and bathroom of my hotel room
I missed everything but the vows. Literally everything.
Static
Active member
I gave a wedding speech a couple months ago, shit was the most stressful thing I've been through in a while. Writing it was tough but the day of it got real, fast. I ended up absolutely killing it using props and appropriate background music coordinated with the dj. Try to not think about it and enjoy the wedding/reception. Also, haikus (I didn't use any, but I've seen it done) are easy and can be a real crowd pleaser.
CaptainObvious.
Active member
13080601:snobunny said:
No, it was Thursday night. I was supposed to golf Friday, then rehearsal dinner, then ceremony on Saturday. Luckily we left Sunday wide open before leaving on Monday for the honeymoon, so I had a day to fully recover before flying again.
Sno.
Active member
13080602:TheSeaCaptain said:
That totally sucks. While I can honestly say that my wedding day was the happiest day of my life-- it started out a little bit shitty. My maid of honor who had flown in from L.A. and was staying in a rental house with me, left her suitcase in the hallway making it so you had to squeeze by it to get from the bedrooms to the living room. I almost tripped over it 20 times and kept telling her to move it but she didn't. The morning of the wedding I woke up and walked by her suitcase and was like oooohhhhhh fucccckkkk!...I threw my phone and grabbed my leg which felt like it had been bitten off by a bear. Holding my leg I looked at her suitcase, and part of the metal framing was sticking straight out of the fabric, I uncovered my leg to reveal a 7-8" gash down my shin. I drove to my moms house really quick where she cleaned it up and butterflied it. I still have a gnarly scar, and the photographer had to photoshop it out of my reception photos (I had a short reception dress).
To pay her back I went to her wedding hungover with last night's hair. She put me at the end of her bridesmaid row and photoshopped me out of several wedding photos. It wasn't intentional (she had a rager of a rehearsal dinner) but it did end up being payback.
CaptainObvious.
Active member
13080611:snobunny said:
Girls and weddings is an insane combination. I thought it was all the hype and hollywood. Not so. Shit gets crazy.
I would have thrown her fucking suitcase away.
Sno.
Active member
13080613:TheSeaCaptain said:
haha, yeah, I wouldn't have been pissed at her if I hadn't asked her a million times to move the piece of shit. I think after it cut me I was like "fuck your fucking suitcase!!!!!!!!!" and kicked it down the hall, I thought my reaction was understandable though because it hurt so bad. She thought I was harsh because it was an accident.
I got pissed at her again when he didn't buy a new one and travelled home that way. She's just running the risk of ruining other peoples' luggage. When people are cheap at other peoples' expense it bothers the shit out of me.
Thanks for all the tips guys and gal,
I think I've got most of the speech figured out. Quick introduction, thanking the brides family for hosting, a dig on both bride and groom as neither are very organized, short banter about growing up together how I taught him everything, then changing speeds to how he learnt to speak to women and how I learnt that from him. How caring and selfless he is, and how we'll remain best friends through life's next steps, finish with a toast to the bride and groom.
There's a few other digs in the details, but nothing roast worthy, hopefully more funny than anything.
I think I've got most of the speech figured out. Quick introduction, thanking the brides family for hosting, a dig on both bride and groom as neither are very organized, short banter about growing up together how I taught him everything, then changing speeds to how he learnt to speak to women and how I learnt that from him. How caring and selfless he is, and how we'll remain best friends through life's next steps, finish with a toast to the bride and groom.
There's a few other digs in the details, but nothing roast worthy, hopefully more funny than anything.
Caucasian_Asian
Active member
Keep it short and simple. Clean too, grandmothers don't like to hear about nailing bitches and doing rails.
EastShoreDrive
Member
I've got three tips. First, keep it short. The speeches mean people have to stop mingling and drinking. This is always the worst part of a wedding. If it is short people will be able to get back to what they were doing quickly. Two is to lay off the inside jokes/jokes in general. What you think is funny now most likely will bomb in front of the crowd. The third is to not make any of the speech about you. The worst speeches I have ever heard all focused on how the best man/maid of honor have a special relationship with the groom/bride. "Then in third grade we were on the soccer team together and we realized..." This type of stuff bores the shit out of the audience. Make it about the bride and groom, not you.
Simple, sincere, and focused. The bride, groom, and audience will thank you for it. Especially after the maid of honor makes a 15 minute speech full of inside jokes that chronicles her "special" relationship with the bride.
Simple, sincere, and focused. The bride, groom, and audience will thank you for it. Especially after the maid of honor makes a 15 minute speech full of inside jokes that chronicles her "special" relationship with the bride.
Well, I think the speech was a hit, got a lot of compliments on it. Best thing that happened was that it was a beach wedding and it was dark by the time we got to the speeches so I couldn't see what I wrote down and I really just ended up winging it a lot more than planned, which turned out great because it was much more from the heart.
My wife came up with a killer idea as well, I asked 10 of his friends to give me one sentence to describe his character. That turned out hilarious.
Thanks for the tips NS
My wife came up with a killer idea as well, I asked 10 of his friends to give me one sentence to describe his character. That turned out hilarious.
Thanks for the tips NS
HolySchimmel
Active member
congratz!