Any of you guys ever bruised your dick?

Elijah.

Elijah.

Active member
I realized at work today that I had bruised my member after engaging in some nefarious activities earlier. What do and help?
 
Icy Hot.......jk I racked myself on a handrail pretty bad and I never saw an actual bruise but my junk was sore for about a week or so.
 
yea. i felt a crack when i was having sex and the next morning the entire base of my dick was purple. just be careful and ice it. it'll go away just try to avoid nefarious activities for a few days. god luck
 
Never happened but just try not to think about it, maybe get some cream or something.

On a semi related note I got some fucking wicked bruises on my neck from this chick last weekend. Looked like I got choked the fuck out or like hit with a brick on my neck but erryone knew what was up
 
twice.
I nutted myself skating this gap to rail when i kicked the board out and i had two bruises on like the underside of the head of my penis... like either side of the pee hole. it was weird and scary but just bruises.
then i was having sex i guess like 3 or 4 years ago when i was a junior in highschool and the girl was on top and riding me like crazy and we were both fucked up and she came up too high once and it popped out and she came back down on it hard... instead of going in her it just jammed there was a loud pop and i immediately got soft next day there was a full purple ring around my cock about an 2 inches from the base. almost went to the doctor then didn't... thinking back i definitely shouldve gone.
 
A young couple is golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife slices her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walk up, knock on the door, and hear a voice say, "Come on in." Opening the door, they see glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor.

A man on the couch says, "Are you the people who broke my window" The husband begins to apologize, but the man cuts him off. "Actually, I want to thank you! I'm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what I'd like to do is give each of you one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Fantastic!" says the husband. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," says the genie, "it's the least I could do. And you, ma'am, what do you want"

"I want a house in every country in the world," says the wife.

"Consider it done," the genie replies, turning back to the man. "And now for my wish. Because Iﾒve been trapped in that bottle, I havenﾒt had sex in a really long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband takes a long look at his wife and says, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses. If you don't mind, honey, I don't either."

The wife agrees, and the genie takes her upstairs, where he ravishes her for three hours. After heﾒs through, the genie rolls over, looks at the wife, and asks, "How old is your husband, anyway"

"Thirty-five," she replies.

"No Shit, and he still believes in genies?"
 
my friend one time bruised the head of his dick when he got kneed in the balls, then 3 days later in a rugby match he got kneed again and it was super swollen and like green and blue and shit. so fuckin dusty
 
My friend split the tip of his dick in half one time when he took a dirt jump like ten feet to far one time, right into the next take off. Split it on his stem of his bike. HA.

It's a useless post, but funny.
 
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