bikerocker
Active member
So this hasn't hit main stream media yet, but it will soon. Apparently Sarah Palin is about to become a grandmother to her second grandchild conceived out of wedlock. Since it seems like half of NS got roofied last weekend I just wanted to let all you kids know about the importance of safe sex.
http://theimmoralminority.blogspot.com/2011/07/remember-how-everybody-just-assumed.html
Remember how everybody just assumed that Track Palin married his
girlfriend because she was pregnant? As it turns out everybody is pretty
damn smart.
So to bring you up to speed on May 19, I wrote a post about Track and long time girlfriend Britta Hanson tying the knot up at Hatcher Pass.
My assumption at the time (and the assumption of every other rational
person with at least two brain cells they can rub together), was that
based on the history the Palins have with marriage and pregnancies,
Britta was undoubtedly "in the family way." However nobody was
absolutely positive such was the case.
About two weeks later I received a tip that Britta was indeed pregnant
and that fellow students in her nursing classes were all talking about
it, and the family was afraid it would soon come out. Then not much
later I received yet ANOTHER tip saying that Britta was definitely with
child and was avoiding certain casual friends so that the word would not
get around and embarrass the families.
Yet it was still all hearsay and I did not feel it was enough to say
definitively that the quickie marriage was due to the impending birth of
yet another baby into the Palin family.
That is it WAS all hearsay until I received this picture in my email
inbox of Britta opening up gifts at her.....wait for it.....baby shower.
(Apparently the shower took place just a couple of days ago at the
Palin compound in Wasilla.)
So based on the tips mentioned above, and this photographic evidence, I
think we can safely move this story out of the rumor category, and into
the "no shit" category.
So what have we learned here today kiddies?
Number One: That there is a 90% probability that any rumor you hear
about the Palin clan will turn out to be true. (Even the crazy ones.)
Number Two: That Bristol is the world's WORST abstinence spokesperson
since she could not even convince her own brother's girlfriend not to
have premarital sex. ("Stop! Stop it right now, Track! Dammit I'm
telling Mom!")
Number Three: That the Palins simply DO NOT get married unless there is a
fetus and a loaded shotgun involved. Sarah's mother, Sally Heath, was
pregnant when SHE got married, so was Sarah, and then Bristol (Who did
not even bother to get married.), and now Britta. Apparently it's a
family tradition.
Not that there is anything wrong with that of course. Well that is
unless your future mother-in-law is constantly pimping herself out as a
family values fundamentalist Christian savior of America, and your
husband's sister is a famous abstinence spokesperson. But whose crazy
ass family does that descr....oh yeah, almost forgot!
Well anyhow I wish both Track and Britta nothing but good luck with the new addition to their family.
Based on what we know of the rest of the family, you're going to need it.
You're welcome.
http://theimmoralminority.blogspot.com/2011/07/remember-how-everybody-just-assumed.html
Remember how everybody just assumed that Track Palin married his
girlfriend because she was pregnant? As it turns out everybody is pretty
damn smart.
So to bring you up to speed on May 19, I wrote a post about Track and long time girlfriend Britta Hanson tying the knot up at Hatcher Pass.
My assumption at the time (and the assumption of every other rational
person with at least two brain cells they can rub together), was that
based on the history the Palins have with marriage and pregnancies,
Britta was undoubtedly "in the family way." However nobody was
absolutely positive such was the case.
About two weeks later I received a tip that Britta was indeed pregnant
and that fellow students in her nursing classes were all talking about
it, and the family was afraid it would soon come out. Then not much
later I received yet ANOTHER tip saying that Britta was definitely with
child and was avoiding certain casual friends so that the word would not
get around and embarrass the families.
Yet it was still all hearsay and I did not feel it was enough to say
definitively that the quickie marriage was due to the impending birth of
yet another baby into the Palin family.
That is it WAS all hearsay until I received this picture in my email
inbox of Britta opening up gifts at her.....wait for it.....baby shower.
(Apparently the shower took place just a couple of days ago at the
Palin compound in Wasilla.)
So based on the tips mentioned above, and this photographic evidence, I
think we can safely move this story out of the rumor category, and into
the "no shit" category.
So what have we learned here today kiddies?
Number One: That there is a 90% probability that any rumor you hear
about the Palin clan will turn out to be true. (Even the crazy ones.)
Number Two: That Bristol is the world's WORST abstinence spokesperson
since she could not even convince her own brother's girlfriend not to
have premarital sex. ("Stop! Stop it right now, Track! Dammit I'm
telling Mom!")
Number Three: That the Palins simply DO NOT get married unless there is a
fetus and a loaded shotgun involved. Sarah's mother, Sally Heath, was
pregnant when SHE got married, so was Sarah, and then Bristol (Who did
not even bother to get married.), and now Britta. Apparently it's a
family tradition.
Not that there is anything wrong with that of course. Well that is
unless your future mother-in-law is constantly pimping herself out as a
family values fundamentalist Christian savior of America, and your
husband's sister is a famous abstinence spokesperson. But whose crazy
ass family does that descr....oh yeah, almost forgot!
Well anyhow I wish both Track and Britta nothing but good luck with the new addition to their family.
Based on what we know of the rest of the family, you're going to need it.
You're welcome.
