10 commandments of sex

[D-40]

need a list. as dirty as possible. please ns, i need your help

 

[jhackbeez]

sounds like someone hasn't had sex before to think for there self

 

[BOSSignol]

Thou shall not pre-ejaculate unless its on a woman's face

 

[I_Am_Mod]

wut?

 

[D-40]

haha you are buggin, ill share some of the list i got, i just dont have ten and i want as many as possible.

- when i wake up, you better be gone

-suck my dick, play with my balls, make me a sandwich and dont talk so much

-i dont need a condom, i have drano and a coat hanger

-when you have your period your butt IS always an option

-shave your shit

-if you cant deep throat i cant eat pussy

 

[Hannah.]

classy reed.

 

[kepler.]

Is there a reason for this over the top misogyny?

 

[D-40]

yes, but is it really necessary?

 

[Squishmitten]

All sed women look the same in the dark... just dont feel the same.

 

[holyDINOSAURS]

i think we're all just curious cause not a single one of those was even funny. just stupid.

 

[D-40]

thats why im asking for help

 

[DBeck]

haha, nice dan..

 

[fujarome]

if this is intended to be posted in a dorm or something, i highly recommend that #10 be "Upon reading this list, thou shalt realize that no woman has, nor ever will, set foot in this room with these classy gentlemen."

 

[dex.]

Do not lay the D, unless equipped with a jimmy.

If it taste like chicken, keep on lickin.

If it tastes like trout, spit it out.

Remember the four Fs, Find em, Feel em, Fuck em, Forget em.

Don't drink whiskey, if you plan on getting friskey.

Thou shalt not fuck, if the bitch has a gut.

 

[PaleCelery]

"Oh yeah baby don't worry I'll pull out in time"

And then you nut in her.

 

[D-40]

good shit jj

 

[SteezyOhio]

rule number two, never let'em know your next move.

 

[neutralzombie]

i think you'd rather reconsidering pulling out unless you wanna pay child support

 

[word-sauce]

lol your so funny

 

[popNfresh44]

hahahah priceless

 

[ManOnTheMoon]

thou shall skip the for play

 

[2_fadez]

if a girl has her period and does not tell you until you find out for yourself, she is thrown of the bed immediately and forced to do your laundry

 

[GORlLLA]

....Ever?

 

[epoxiedtip]

I loled

 

[Thenowhereman42]

You don't pre ejaculate on a woman's face you regular ejaculate on it.

 

[doublexl]

 

[kepler.]

Not even if there was a fire!

 

[abc8tr8we98g]

i wish i would have known this rule earlier...i could have had my laundry done for free

 

[Mr.Panda]

if you are pre ejaculating on a girls face you will probably be regular ejaculating on it very soon after unless she moves.

 

[basedjase]

i agree.

 

[Goku]

this thread is a waste of internetz

 

[Ryan10271]

Be offensive, beyond dirty talk, insult that bitch.

Yell.

Change positions at least every 15 seconds

Grope her the whole time, no compliments

No protection, just pull out, 100% safe

Pee in her but? Maybe? Yes.

If she, you know, finishes, you did something wrong

 

[powderdream]

I loled at your lol

 

[gbirrd]

she shall not stop till we are finished

 

[Elijah.]

Thou shall not waste your ejaculate unless there is an imminent fire in the near vicinity.

 

[Delphi]

queefing is a natural occurrence during and after sex. Just deal with it.

Also, helmets may be necessary, as head injuries are commonplace.

 

[coolhandluke]

be respectful of your roommate:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33080540/ns/us_news-education/

 

[1337]

hahahahahhahahaha epic win

 

[carbon.pulse]

There is only one commandment for sex.

-If the river flows red, take the mud track.

 

[smooticus]

If the river runs red, down to the old pub instead

 

[dwigt]

me gets dat

 

[dwigt]

Rule #1when in doubt pull out

 

[tBatt]

Antioch's "Sexual Offense Prevention Policy" required students to ask

permission from one another if they wanted to have sexual contact,

including holding hands.

 

[andreweckels]

ryan started the fire!!!

it was always burning since the world was turning!!!

 

[B.L.A.K.E]

hahahaha

 

[Delphi]

hahahahhahah what do you think of the new season?

 

[coolhandluke]

holding hands is the devil's work, it is.

 

[Mr.Panda]

isnt this the place where that creepy sex offender guy that kidnapped the girl and held her hostage as a sex slave for like 18 years came from?

 

[rj.]

women only need to do two things... stay thin and shut up.

 

[Bryan*]

if she is a spitter she is a quiter.

 

[Quinn]

i'm sure dave chapelle would be honored to be on your dumbass list