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Oh, and for the record, on a scale of gayness, 1 being totally straight and 10 being totally gay, I'm about a 2. I'm also happily married and have two children with my wife. Blah blah blah. Now, I bet most of you don't have such bona fide credentials of hetrosexuality. Indeed, I'm guessing...

It's late and I'm tired. You all, at least those of you sufficiently literate, know where I stand on things. But by all means continue this intellectually stimulating, spiritually enriching journey of personal discovery without me.

First, the rules declare that the gayest of the gay are those that question of the sexual orientation of the author. So, I'm guessing your favorite fruit is the banana? Or when it comes to fruits, do take whatever is given to you? Second, the aforementioned rule already says who is the...

The rules are neutral, so you singled yourself out. Read the rules. Better yet, considering your innovative use of the word "your," have somebody read them to you.

Congratulations. You are officially the gayest of the gay. And you can go ahead and "thing" all you want. It just makes you that much gayer, which is hard to believe, because you're already the gayest of the gay.

Nah, I put in that satirical part to exclude such conclusion. Now I see that you were being satirical (my bad), so you're free to screw whomever. Of course, this doesn't mean either one of is not not gay. It's a complicated world, after all.

Welcome to the world outside the closet!

Eloquent legal analysis. I bet you're a Rhodes Scholar. I bet you're also a big, big fan of Matt Damon.

If you were using it satirically (or in the British English sense), your sexual orientation is safely your own. Otherwise, you're actually doubly gay! I think that means that you're so gay that you actually enjoy Rosie O'Donnell.

Fair enough. The "ditto" part of #2 was meant to exclude the accurate usage of words like "queer" in the same manner as #1. So, if you're British, smoke all the fags you want, you're not necessarily a fag. And if you declare your bundle of sticks to be a fagot, you're not necessarily a...

No, wanting to fuck other men if you're a dude or other women if you're a chick make you gay. That and using the term "gay" as explained in #1.

Someone needs a doppio latte with soy milk, a copy of the Advocate, and some alone time!

People may use it to mean "stupid," but that derives its negativity from the fact that homosexuality is itself viewed negatively.

Here are the rules, haters: (1) People who use the word "gay" are gay unless they (a) are actually refering to something that is homosexual in the non-pejorative sense; (b) are using the term to mean "happy"; or (c) using the term to satically begin a thread entiled "People who say 'gay' are...