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rapping christmas presents

I have gained about 10 lbs, I feel like I have been on a bender for a month and just stuffing my pass like I was packinng a muskett

there is a difference of FAT girls and sturdy girls. I'll tell ya what sturdy girls REALLY appreciate you. sometimes skinny girls are always like "how do I look? do I look fat? fat girls know their fat and just want to get to bizzness

a couple of years ago I was in ft collins at my sisters place totally legless on hot damn, she still brings it up

^nice^

dumping one into my hand and whipping it at her face yelling "YAHTZEE!"

I used to get maxim but it is all adds now. f that, now I get a really cool mag about surfing called water

how do you make a woman come? -who cares

helping somenone out randomnly, and that funny feeling that makes my toes curl teehee

i was scrolling thru one of the many mtv channels and caught that rotten show 17 or something like that, what a bunch of skanks battling for a job at the mag, brbrbrpppp f'n stoopid

so what did I miss? I was just punching a great big bowl full of hot sand like 1,000 times

so this guy comes home to find his wife packing her shit he says "where are you going?" she says "hookers are getting $100 a blow job in vegas, so I am leaving you to make some $$" so he starts throwing his shit into a bag and she says "what are you doing?" he goes "I'm going to see how your...

I took in a stray cat that is the shit, he has such a fun time wailing on my tree I had to tie it up so it wouldn't timber!!

I didn't want to say nothing but....I am a shogun master, I show my face with pride before the kill, I will split ninjas down the core like a ripe bananna, I have a special pillow that allows my hair bun to sit perfect while I sleep with one eye open

hahhaha

yeah def wear some good running shoes for like a month. that blows having to watch your back all the time

what if it overheats and ruins everything in there apartment? it is a good idea though. maybe donate it to like the boys club or girls club (in your case)that would be like a santa thing, I still think you should do the pic thing to bum out your ex

you should take a sexy picture of yourself next to the xbox and say "now you can't play with either!"

my buddy almost got robbed at a train station in cambridge, he was pretty upset at the time 'cause his 5 yr girlfriend just dumped him so he kinda went nuts and broke one guys knee back, he got swung at with a blade that cut his coat a bit but not to bad, he is badass

2-3 hours