Go skiing at any resort and you are bound to spot yourself a Jaded Local in their natural habitat. This is a special creature, who typically resides in the squalors of small ski towns and lodges. Known for their crusty clothes and attitude, the Jaded Local is hard to miss.
Alta is home to many of these species. Whether it’s the product of long lift lines, the Ikon Pass, or those liberal cucks changing the ways of a once “old-school” ski resort, Alta might have the highest per-capita population of Jaded Locals in the country.
More and more I wonder if I am fitting the criteria of a Jaded Local. Hell, I write articles on a ski blog for laughs at other peoples’ expense. How long does it take to be a part of this species? Do I want to be a Jaded Local? I do not think so. So why do I feel so jaded all the time? How do some stay unjaded their whole ski bum career?
The Jaded Local has always been discussed, but never analyzed in any deeper fashion. In this article I hope to brush the surface of the Jaded Local at Alta, what makes them so jaded, and possibly learn a little bit more about myself in the process.
Although a Jaded Local is not hard to spot, there are several distinct features that must come together to make one truly jaded. Some of these features include their attitude, shitty situation, clothes, and decline in skiing ability.
Identifying a Jaded Local by their attitude can be one of the easiest things to do. If you’re an Alta local, you can immediately spot the jaded local wherever you go through simple conversation. He or she might discuss how much the Ikon pass has fucked up Alta, or how the new generation ruined skiing by posting everything on Instagram and “blowing up the spot” with fake pow turns. One might go as far as bragging about how he deflated some younger ski bums’ tires because they parked in the wrong place.
However, if you’re not from around Alta, it might be harder to spot a Jaded Local right off the bat. A clue you are in the presence of a Jaded Local is if you try and make simple lift conversation and they offer you a menacing scowl in reply. They might even tell you to “fuck off” in the lift line. But most of the time, a Jaded Local just says nothing to beaters, because you will just make them more jaded.
A more difficult identification of a Jaded Local can come through their situation. Does the person seem stuck in the same place completely unsatisfied? The biggest tell is if they constantly mention how they could have done something with their skiing career or all the pros they used to ski with. These comments are a clear giveaway to the jadedness of a local.
One can also have a good job up at Alta and still be a Jaded Local. This is often because they find themselves skiing less than they did as a weekend warrior. Although one’s situation is a difficult avenue to take in identifying a Jaded Local, it is possible to do so, and it is certainly another piece to the bigger puzzle.
One’s ski gear or clothing in general can also be a dead giveaway of whether or not you have a Jaded Local on your hands. They typically wear ski gear older than this website. Rips and tears scattered amongst the arms, cuffs, and pants are an underlying expression of how an old crusty fellah can’t get pro deals anymore. Often times, the Jaded Local has grown fond of a pair of skis circa 2009 and scours eBay to find them every two to three years. You can spot these skis from the graphics, multiple mount points, or simply from the haggard SPK bindings that they are still using. Lord only knows if they work.
One can also identify a Jaded Local through their skiing ability and frequency. Sure, the Jaded Local is probably fairly good at skiing, but how good were they before they were jaded? There’s a good chance that he or she was way better before the jadedness set in. Maybe it was an injury, or they just loss the love for it. Either way, one can identify a Jaded Local from a serious decline in their ability or motivation to ski.
One does not become a Jaded Local overnight. It takes years and years for one to become truly jaded. When one first arrives at Alta, most think they have found heaven on earth. I know I sure did. The only thing that can bother someone is their shitty job and pay. The rest is endless powder, sick parties, and good people. At some point though, the local notices subtle things that begin to grind their gears.
Everyone is a little jaded in one way or another. I believe some combination of these four categories makes a truly Jaded Local. So am I jaded? In the next category I attempt to grade myself and make a conclusion if I need to get my head out of my ass or not.
Attitude C-
Hardly a passing grade. Like my teachers told me in high school, “If you keep going down the road your on, you’re going to fail my class”. Except this time, class is still finding joy in the mountain I love. Although I’ve found the most joy in skiing this year than any previous year, I still am quite thrilled to write satirical articles on this website poking fun at others expense. Does that mean I have a shitty attitude? I’ll let you decide.
Situation B
I’m actually quite happy with my situation. In years past this category would have been graded in the D+ range because my attitude was shit. For some reason, I realized how good I have it at Alta. I get to ski every day, I have a cool boss, and I am surrounded by people I love. Sure I could complain, but who’s going to listen to me? We’ll see if that changes next year.
Clothes B+
Although I can’t reveal to you all what I wear in fears of getting the shit kicked out of me by an Influencer or one of those Pit Viper guys, I can proudly say I don’t dress completely jaded yet. My jacket and bibs are still relatively in style, and there are only a few tears located on the cuffs. My skis are less than four years old and most people can identify what they are which is also a pro. Unfortunately, I cannot give myself an “A” in this category because of the colors. The neutral colors I chose for my “kit” provide a vibe that states “Fuck off unless I know you.” I honestly picked the colors because of my insecurity with bright colors. I hate sticking out when I ski, but these are the choices I have made and therefore I must live with my self-appointed B+.
Skiing C+
Admittedly, I was a much better jumper when I first arrived at Alta. I felt like I needed to prove how sick I was at skiing. Now I admit I am not as sick at skiing as I once thought. So I keep my skis on the ground. Like I said in my previous article, I write out of jealously because I am not as good of a skier as those that can fly through the air. Although my skiing ability has decreased, I find myself having more fun than I ever have before on skis. To me, there is nothing better than dissecting lines through trees, or feeling the edges underneath my feet. Therefore, I give myself a C+ because I was not as good as I once was, but I still enjoy it.
All in all I give myself a C+. I’m almost jaded, but not quite there. If I don’t turn it around quick, I’ll find myself in a deep, jaded hole that I can’t dig myself out of.
Becoming a Jaded local is like eating a good cake. Once you start, it’s hard to stop. Suddenly, it's the only feeling that gives you a high anymore and you're a fat mess. Nothing compares. Not even skiing. You’d rather be on the patio or writing a blog making fun of others having way more fun than you – like Instagram Influencers. The underlying question is: Can Jaded Locals become unjaded? For my sake I pray to God the answer to this question is yes. I do believe they can. Every time I believe I’m done with Alta, it reminds me of how truly beautiful it is. How amazing the people and the community are, and how good the snow is. I realize that in the end, none of the extra stuff really matters. I mean we get to ski every day for Christ sake!
Alta is home to many of these species. Whether it’s the product of long lift lines, the Ikon Pass, or those liberal cucks changing the ways of a once “old-school” ski resort, Alta might have the highest per-capita population of Jaded Locals in the country.
More and more I wonder if I am fitting the criteria of a Jaded Local. Hell, I write articles on a ski blog for laughs at other peoples’ expense. How long does it take to be a part of this species? Do I want to be a Jaded Local? I do not think so. So why do I feel so jaded all the time? How do some stay unjaded their whole ski bum career?
The Jaded Local has always been discussed, but never analyzed in any deeper fashion. In this article I hope to brush the surface of the Jaded Local at Alta, what makes them so jaded, and possibly learn a little bit more about myself in the process.
Although a Jaded Local is not hard to spot, there are several distinct features that must come together to make one truly jaded. Some of these features include their attitude, shitty situation, clothes, and decline in skiing ability.
Identifying a Jaded Local by their attitude can be one of the easiest things to do. If you’re an Alta local, you can immediately spot the jaded local wherever you go through simple conversation. He or she might discuss how much the Ikon pass has fucked up Alta, or how the new generation ruined skiing by posting everything on Instagram and “blowing up the spot” with fake pow turns. One might go as far as bragging about how he deflated some younger ski bums’ tires because they parked in the wrong place.
However, if you’re not from around Alta, it might be harder to spot a Jaded Local right off the bat. A clue you are in the presence of a Jaded Local is if you try and make simple lift conversation and they offer you a menacing scowl in reply. They might even tell you to “fuck off” in the lift line. But most of the time, a Jaded Local just says nothing to beaters, because you will just make them more jaded.
A more difficult identification of a Jaded Local can come through their situation. Does the person seem stuck in the same place completely unsatisfied? The biggest tell is if they constantly mention how they could have done something with their skiing career or all the pros they used to ski with. These comments are a clear giveaway to the jadedness of a local.
One can also have a good job up at Alta and still be a Jaded Local. This is often because they find themselves skiing less than they did as a weekend warrior. Although one’s situation is a difficult avenue to take in identifying a Jaded Local, it is possible to do so, and it is certainly another piece to the bigger puzzle.
One’s ski gear or clothing in general can also be a dead giveaway of whether or not you have a Jaded Local on your hands. They typically wear ski gear older than this website. Rips and tears scattered amongst the arms, cuffs, and pants are an underlying expression of how an old crusty fellah can’t get pro deals anymore. Often times, the Jaded Local has grown fond of a pair of skis circa 2009 and scours eBay to find them every two to three years. You can spot these skis from the graphics, multiple mount points, or simply from the haggard SPK bindings that they are still using. Lord only knows if they work.
One can also identify a Jaded Local through their skiing ability and frequency. Sure, the Jaded Local is probably fairly good at skiing, but how good were they before they were jaded? There’s a good chance that he or she was way better before the jadedness set in. Maybe it was an injury, or they just loss the love for it. Either way, one can identify a Jaded Local from a serious decline in their ability or motivation to ski.
One does not become a Jaded Local overnight. It takes years and years for one to become truly jaded. When one first arrives at Alta, most think they have found heaven on earth. I know I sure did. The only thing that can bother someone is their shitty job and pay. The rest is endless powder, sick parties, and good people. At some point though, the local notices subtle things that begin to grind their gears.
Everyone is a little jaded in one way or another. I believe some combination of these four categories makes a truly Jaded Local. So am I jaded? In the next category I attempt to grade myself and make a conclusion if I need to get my head out of my ass or not.
Attitude C-
Hardly a passing grade. Like my teachers told me in high school, “If you keep going down the road your on, you’re going to fail my class”. Except this time, class is still finding joy in the mountain I love. Although I’ve found the most joy in skiing this year than any previous year, I still am quite thrilled to write satirical articles on this website poking fun at others expense. Does that mean I have a shitty attitude? I’ll let you decide.
Situation B
I’m actually quite happy with my situation. In years past this category would have been graded in the D+ range because my attitude was shit. For some reason, I realized how good I have it at Alta. I get to ski every day, I have a cool boss, and I am surrounded by people I love. Sure I could complain, but who’s going to listen to me? We’ll see if that changes next year.
Clothes B+
Although I can’t reveal to you all what I wear in fears of getting the shit kicked out of me by an Influencer or one of those Pit Viper guys, I can proudly say I don’t dress completely jaded yet. My jacket and bibs are still relatively in style, and there are only a few tears located on the cuffs. My skis are less than four years old and most people can identify what they are which is also a pro. Unfortunately, I cannot give myself an “A” in this category because of the colors. The neutral colors I chose for my “kit” provide a vibe that states “Fuck off unless I know you.” I honestly picked the colors because of my insecurity with bright colors. I hate sticking out when I ski, but these are the choices I have made and therefore I must live with my self-appointed B+.
Skiing C+
Admittedly, I was a much better jumper when I first arrived at Alta. I felt like I needed to prove how sick I was at skiing. Now I admit I am not as sick at skiing as I once thought. So I keep my skis on the ground. Like I said in my previous article, I write out of jealously because I am not as good of a skier as those that can fly through the air. Although my skiing ability has decreased, I find myself having more fun than I ever have before on skis. To me, there is nothing better than dissecting lines through trees, or feeling the edges underneath my feet. Therefore, I give myself a C+ because I was not as good as I once was, but I still enjoy it.
All in all I give myself a C+. I’m almost jaded, but not quite there. If I don’t turn it around quick, I’ll find myself in a deep, jaded hole that I can’t dig myself out of.
Becoming a Jaded local is like eating a good cake. Once you start, it’s hard to stop. Suddenly, it's the only feeling that gives you a high anymore and you're a fat mess. Nothing compares. Not even skiing. You’d rather be on the patio or writing a blog making fun of others having way more fun than you – like Instagram Influencers. The underlying question is: Can Jaded Locals become unjaded? For my sake I pray to God the answer to this question is yes. I do believe they can. Every time I believe I’m done with Alta, it reminds me of how truly beautiful it is. How amazing the people and the community are, and how good the snow is. I realize that in the end, none of the extra stuff really matters. I mean we get to ski every day for Christ sake!
