The road to become an Instagram influencer is not as difficult as one might think. Although many have tried, few have reached the top ranks of molding minds with the products and services they endorse. Those who craft their “brand” correctly in the ski world can earn themselves free gear, praise from all the locals, and socialize in the elite class of the ski world. There is no easier place to make this happen than at Alta Ski Resort. The unlimited supply of powder, steep terrain, and horny photographers waiting around every corner make it easy to climb the ranks of Instagram’s ski elite. With a few simple steps, anyone can become an Instagram influencer in the town of Alta and reap the rewards from their not-so-hard work. The best part is you don’t even have to be that good at skiing!
Although some might think this article is poking fun at the female instababes of Alta, it is not. Personally, I think the fact that Johnny Collinson has a monopoly on the instabros of Alta is a travesty. More Alta dudes need to get out there and take advantage of all that Instagram has to offer for them. Although females take advantage of this platform the most, I believe that the Alta guys have just as much to gain from the Instagram lifestyle. I also want to mention that I am writing this out of jealousy. Unfortunately, the Good Lord did not bless me with the looks, skiing ability, or personality to make a living out of showing how cool my life is on social media. I hope most will think of this as a salute to those who have worked tirelessly honing their craft on “Tha Gram”.
Below I have outlined key points to building your brand through Instagram in the town of Alta.
SKI THE SHOULDER
The first and most important step on the road to Alta Instagram fame is to ski the Shoulder. Ski the Shoulder. Ski the Shoulder. Ski the Shoulder. I cannot say it enough. There is not enough fingers and toes on my body to count the number of Alta influencers whose careers have blossomed on the Shoulder. That short 4-minute boot pack is almost all you need for Instagram fame. I swear they should make a season pass for Influencers who only hike the Shoulder.
Skiing the Shoulder is a sacrifice you’ll have to make if you want to bask in the glory of Instagram fame. Sure, you’re friends will be ripping out the High T or deep in Westward Ho to ski something actually interesting, but you’ll be the one laughing once Atomic is hooking you up with a fresh pair of skis for your sick Shoulder photo.
Of course, you need a photographer down below to shoot you, but chances are Lee Cohen will already be set up once you get to the top. He is shooting photos of skiers that actually matter. If you’re ready, drop in right before Lee’s skiers drop and maybe he’ll think he’s shooting his athletes. It’ll actually be you. Buy the photo’s off him for a crisp hundred-dollar bill (trust me, it’ll pay off in the long run). Don’t worry that Lee won’t be there, he will.
CAPTIONS
Captions are like icing on the cake to your post. They don’t make up a lot of the product, but without them people are going to be disappointed. Although few actually read all of the bullshit you write, they want to know you put in some effort to tell them how awesome your life is.
The key to a good caption is all in the delivery. Yeah, you had a sick day, we know. Why was yours so much better than everyone else’s? Here’s a prime example by Madison Rose:
Do we even know if she was just skiing? Or if the powder was deep? Or if she was actually on Wildcat? I tend to believe Madison was indeed getting pitted on the Kitty, but how can we know for sure? It doesn’t matter, she looks like she’s having a good time, so we are liking that photo. Also please note that in her caption, she mentions she was skiing the SHOULDER.
One other strategy to captions is to make them so long no one will bother to read them. Please note Exhibit B:
Although I did read this caption and it was rather touching, I would say 90% of people aren’t reading that shit. The only thing that matters is they saw Sean put some effort in and therefore, are going to like that photo.
In short, take some time on those captions. They will go a long way, and all those followers you have never met will love them.
GOOD LOOKS
Finally, all you need now is some good looks! Now I know anyone can be an influencer, but let us be honest with ourselves, looks definitely help. It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a gal, if you look good people are going to like your photo. It is my belief that looks and skiing ability can be directly correlated to one another when analyzing someone’s Instagram popularit. If you’re a 10/10 on the look spectrum, then your skiing might only have to be a 3/10. Just take a lot of photos of you at après or on the chairlift. On the other hand, if you’re a 3/10 on the look spectrum, you better be a fucking ripper. Keep your followers interested with clips of you sticking backies or sending Bad News so they forget about that damned face of yours. You can cover up some of that face by posting lots of photos in ski gear or with a mask on during these Covid times.
I think it is important for us to be honest with ourselves when talking about looks and it’s benefits to the Instagram lifestyle. I for one am not blessed with either looks or skiing ability, so I don’t even try!
Nothing feels better than having thousands of people you don’t know double tapping your image. Not having the personality nor the skiing ability to become an Instagram influencer myself, I often wonder the type of dopamine boost these prestigious folks get from their posts. It must be huge. The good news is you can have this type of dopamine boost too. Becoming an influencer at Alta will open doors you never knew existed. An elite friend group and free gear are just a few of the benefits you will see from your newfound fame. Sure, becoming an influencer has no promising future career other than the potential of transitioning your page into a van-life blog or some sort of half-assed life coaching business, but the immediate success you’ll receive from it is worth any future downside you might face.
Although some might think this article is poking fun at the female instababes of Alta, it is not. Personally, I think the fact that Johnny Collinson has a monopoly on the instabros of Alta is a travesty. More Alta dudes need to get out there and take advantage of all that Instagram has to offer for them. Although females take advantage of this platform the most, I believe that the Alta guys have just as much to gain from the Instagram lifestyle. I also want to mention that I am writing this out of jealousy. Unfortunately, the Good Lord did not bless me with the looks, skiing ability, or personality to make a living out of showing how cool my life is on social media. I hope most will think of this as a salute to those who have worked tirelessly honing their craft on “Tha Gram”.
Below I have outlined key points to building your brand through Instagram in the town of Alta.
SKI THE SHOULDER
The first and most important step on the road to Alta Instagram fame is to ski the Shoulder. Ski the Shoulder. Ski the Shoulder. Ski the Shoulder. I cannot say it enough. There is not enough fingers and toes on my body to count the number of Alta influencers whose careers have blossomed on the Shoulder. That short 4-minute boot pack is almost all you need for Instagram fame. I swear they should make a season pass for Influencers who only hike the Shoulder.
Skiing the Shoulder is a sacrifice you’ll have to make if you want to bask in the glory of Instagram fame. Sure, you’re friends will be ripping out the High T or deep in Westward Ho to ski something actually interesting, but you’ll be the one laughing once Atomic is hooking you up with a fresh pair of skis for your sick Shoulder photo.
Of course, you need a photographer down below to shoot you, but chances are Lee Cohen will already be set up once you get to the top. He is shooting photos of skiers that actually matter. If you’re ready, drop in right before Lee’s skiers drop and maybe he’ll think he’s shooting his athletes. It’ll actually be you. Buy the photo’s off him for a crisp hundred-dollar bill (trust me, it’ll pay off in the long run). Don’t worry that Lee won’t be there, he will.
CAPTIONS
Captions are like icing on the cake to your post. They don’t make up a lot of the product, but without them people are going to be disappointed. Although few actually read all of the bullshit you write, they want to know you put in some effort to tell them how awesome your life is.
The key to a good caption is all in the delivery. Yeah, you had a sick day, we know. Why was yours so much better than everyone else’s? Here’s a prime example by Madison Rose:
Do we even know if she was just skiing? Or if the powder was deep? Or if she was actually on Wildcat? I tend to believe Madison was indeed getting pitted on the Kitty, but how can we know for sure? It doesn’t matter, she looks like she’s having a good time, so we are liking that photo. Also please note that in her caption, she mentions she was skiing the SHOULDER.
One other strategy to captions is to make them so long no one will bother to read them. Please note Exhibit B:
Although I did read this caption and it was rather touching, I would say 90% of people aren’t reading that shit. The only thing that matters is they saw Sean put some effort in and therefore, are going to like that photo.
In short, take some time on those captions. They will go a long way, and all those followers you have never met will love them.
GOOD LOOKS
Finally, all you need now is some good looks! Now I know anyone can be an influencer, but let us be honest with ourselves, looks definitely help. It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a gal, if you look good people are going to like your photo. It is my belief that looks and skiing ability can be directly correlated to one another when analyzing someone’s Instagram popularit. If you’re a 10/10 on the look spectrum, then your skiing might only have to be a 3/10. Just take a lot of photos of you at après or on the chairlift. On the other hand, if you’re a 3/10 on the look spectrum, you better be a fucking ripper. Keep your followers interested with clips of you sticking backies or sending Bad News so they forget about that damned face of yours. You can cover up some of that face by posting lots of photos in ski gear or with a mask on during these Covid times.
I think it is important for us to be honest with ourselves when talking about looks and it’s benefits to the Instagram lifestyle. I for one am not blessed with either looks or skiing ability, so I don’t even try!
Nothing feels better than having thousands of people you don’t know double tapping your image. Not having the personality nor the skiing ability to become an Instagram influencer myself, I often wonder the type of dopamine boost these prestigious folks get from their posts. It must be huge. The good news is you can have this type of dopamine boost too. Becoming an influencer at Alta will open doors you never knew existed. An elite friend group and free gear are just a few of the benefits you will see from your newfound fame. Sure, becoming an influencer has no promising future career other than the potential of transitioning your page into a van-life blog or some sort of half-assed life coaching business, but the immediate success you’ll receive from it is worth any future downside you might face.
