robotussin is prob my drug of choice, cheap and legal. but dont let him chug it man, guaifenesin is an active ingredient that makes you throw up, if it all settles into your stomache at once it makes you throw up, thats why you sip the sizzurp
i just thought of this straight up, what you need to do is have one of your buddys or your mom or someone write home on one butt cheek and comming on the other. then when you see her in school the next day moon the bitch and see what she says