The Weak. (4)

I like the weak because Ian is just livin' his life doing what he loves, most. Skiing. He is living a nice wholesome life, without the flash and show that some skiers have.

i like the weak cuz it gives me a snow boner

I watch The Weak because it’s good

I watch The Weak because I should

Those ice coast jibbers sure know how to play

And it’s no surprise that this Christmas is a Tuesday

I’ve seen them all, to my great satisfaction

But for El Weakling, I have a suggestion

At the opening segments of every show

We see who sponsors Ian in the snow

LINE, Orage, Full Tilt, too

No wonder he’s part of the TC Crew

Those companies keep him wild and free

But I think he could rock a new name: Crest or Oral B

He’d flash even more smiles, atop those Carinthian skis

And all of the ladies would say, “Oh, Ian. You’re such a tease.”

White as the snow, straight as a rail

That lovely grill is cute as HAIL!

Beaming Julia Roberts will be put to shame

When the east coast kid is at the top of his game

If you put him next to Miley Cyrus

You’d think she contracted a rare oral virus

When I brish and brush and recite my ABC’s

I’d imagine my hero in all of his pearly steeze

When my teeth turn yellow from eating boiled goose eggs

I’d chug some mouthwash and dream of Tuesdays

When Kiwi meat pies are laden with sauce

Will and Andy could use Ian’s signature floss

I can see it now, the posing and the winking

The dictionary changing, “tooth” to “weakling”

The Chompton tour, overbooked with dates

Paparazzi chasing, after a grin on snow skates

The smile guru, jedi, undisputed master

With a smooth, sleek, one-footed disaster

The seductive grab, by the Chronic lover

Mass produced, on the Rolling Stone cover

I bet if you researched, Compton’s genealogy

You’d find Mona Lisa, in his family tree.

Just think of the possibilities, what this sponsorship could be

After that, gimme my limited edition Weak hoodie

P.S. I’m a poor, poor college student rocking $20 ski bibs from Walmart. Have pity on my soul.

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i like weak cause im eastcoaster to and ians teeth are big

I like the weak because Compton I have your phone number and if I don't win I will post it for everyone...just kidding i'm not that much of a dickhead.

Hahaha, I like the weak because it generates enough excitement for people to make poems about it to win stuff. Just overall entertaining.

i love the week because watching Ian ski is almost as good as skiing

3:07

I watch the weak because its so nice to get home from school and relax to some guys killing it. Plus it inspires me to rock out the next time I'm skiing and balls up. Keep it up Iann